I have never owned a bird. My crazy friend, Ellen, used to have a pet bird. It loved her husband, hated her, and cursed like a sailor. They were not on good terms, to say the least. Ellen is a member of a Red Hat Club. When her sweet southern belle friends would come over, she would have to cover the birdcage so he didn't humiliate her.
Life threw a blanket over me last spring and eclipsed me in complete darkness. I could no longer hear the song in my heart. The words and the tune were both just distant memories.
Slowly but surely, they came back. Friends have helped me find them and have even sung them to me at times. Tonight I was a bit melancholic. I was thinking that this time last year, life was normal. My ex-husband and I joined friends for dinner, and then we went briefly to the Pelican Drop. It was a little too wild and out of control, so we just came home and ushered in the new year quietly. The girls were camping with our friends, so it was just the two of us. I guess it was the proverbial calm before the storm. My heart sang that night. I was a soft, quiet song that told a story of a good life. I had no idea that the song would be silenced in the coming weeks.
Tonight I do not long for that relationship. I initially thought that I would always love him and never be able to move on. However, God has completely released me from the relationship. I wish him all the best in life. That is easy to do now because I have moved on. So the melancholy does not stem from longing for "that" relationship. I am just sad for the loss of our traditional family. I am so thankful that I serve a God of redemption. Without Him I would be forever stuck in this state of melancholy. Through His grace I am able to break free from those moments that would try to hold me captive in despair. He has already given me glimpses of the life to come. I don't know what it holds, but I know it will be good.
I allowed myself a few moments of remembrance today, and then I changed my thoughts. I sang my heart out. It was a beautiful song with a beautiful melody. It told the story of a woman who had suffered great loss, but through the loss she gained much. She has a contentment in her heart because she has all she needs: beautiful daughters, wonderful friends, and family that make her feel very special and loved. It is a song of triumph!
In the corner of the greeting card, there was a line, "She happily set free her heart!" I covered my heart last year and tried to hide it away from the world. I told it not to sing because there was nothing about which to sing. But the love in my heart could not be locked away. It burst out, threw off the blanket, and started singing. I tried to fight it, to no avail. There was no choice left except to happily set it free.
Happy New Year, friends. I pray that 2011 is a wonderful year for us all.
Slowly but surely, they came back. Friends have helped me find them and have even sung them to me at times. Tonight I was a bit melancholic. I was thinking that this time last year, life was normal. My ex-husband and I joined friends for dinner, and then we went briefly to the Pelican Drop. It was a little too wild and out of control, so we just came home and ushered in the new year quietly. The girls were camping with our friends, so it was just the two of us. I guess it was the proverbial calm before the storm. My heart sang that night. I was a soft, quiet song that told a story of a good life. I had no idea that the song would be silenced in the coming weeks.
Tonight I do not long for that relationship. I initially thought that I would always love him and never be able to move on. However, God has completely released me from the relationship. I wish him all the best in life. That is easy to do now because I have moved on. So the melancholy does not stem from longing for "that" relationship. I am just sad for the loss of our traditional family. I am so thankful that I serve a God of redemption. Without Him I would be forever stuck in this state of melancholy. Through His grace I am able to break free from those moments that would try to hold me captive in despair. He has already given me glimpses of the life to come. I don't know what it holds, but I know it will be good.
I allowed myself a few moments of remembrance today, and then I changed my thoughts. I sang my heart out. It was a beautiful song with a beautiful melody. It told the story of a woman who had suffered great loss, but through the loss she gained much. She has a contentment in her heart because she has all she needs: beautiful daughters, wonderful friends, and family that make her feel very special and loved. It is a song of triumph!
In the corner of the greeting card, there was a line, "She happily set free her heart!" I covered my heart last year and tried to hide it away from the world. I told it not to sing because there was nothing about which to sing. But the love in my heart could not be locked away. It burst out, threw off the blanket, and started singing. I tried to fight it, to no avail. There was no choice left except to happily set it free.
Happy New Year, friends. I pray that 2011 is a wonderful year for us all.
No comments:
Post a Comment