Remaking Memories

I am in Slapout visiting with several of my friends here.  It is always good to see them.  Astonishingly, we were able to reminisce over the year, and we could laugh.  I would have never dreamed that life could still bring me so much pleasure after all that has been said and done this year.

My friend, Sue, looked at me and said, "We have decided we are going to have a do-over weekend this year."  I knew exactly what she was talking about.  Sue, Karen, and Kristy are three of my friends from Slapout.  I love them dearly. It is hard to get all four of us together.  We all have teenage children going in every direction, and life just happens.  However, last January I called Sue and said, "I need you, Karen, and Kristy to come to your mom's condo and see me.  Don't ask why, and there are no excuses.  I need you all there."

They talked the whole trip down about what could possibly be going on in my life.  They came up with all kinds of scenarios from my being sick to a problem with one of the girls.  They never considered divorce.  It was not even the slightest whisper of a thought in any of their minds.  They finally decided that I was just tricking them.  In my past life I was known to pull a prank or two. (That part of me died for a while.  A word of caution to those close to me:  It is being revived!)  They assumed that I just wanted to hang out with them, and I acted like something was terribly wrong as a way to get everyone together.  I would walk in, smile really big, and say, "Gotcha."  We would then spend a weekend together, laughing and making memories.

It did not happen that way.  I walked in and looked at them.  I was about the size that I was in the 7th grade.  Sue looked at me and said, "You are so skinny.  You make me sick.  Why can't I look like that?"  I quietly said, "You don't want to look like this."   They stood there and watched their strong, feisty, and ever- mischievous friend crumble into a million pieces.  It was like Humpty Dumpty's fall.  We all wondered in that moment if I could ever be put back together again.

I shared what had happened, and they were speechless.  This was not happening.  They must be dreaming.  At the same time, I could see fear in their eyes.  Two of them are married.  If this can happen to me, is anyone secure in their marriage?  I cried.  They cried.  We were silent.  No one had any words to offer.  Finally, Sue looked up and said, "Mens are crazy!"  It broke the ice, and we could laugh a little, but a huge black cloud still hung over us, and there was a deep heaviness that made it seem difficult just to breathe.

We were in Gulf Shores, so we decided to shop.  Shopping is supposed to make everything better, right?  Nothing could help this.  Furthermore, the temperatures were in the 30s, and it was dreary and raining.  The climate perfectly reflected my life.  I was so tired.  Now I know that was depression.  Finally, we left and went to get something to eat.

If you are in Gulf Shores, you have to go to LuLu's.  We pulled up into the parking lot, and I don't know how or why, but a wave of grief washed over me, and I went under.  Sue was in the back seat.  I fell over in her lap and sobbed uncontrollably.  I could hear her whisper to them, "What do we do?"   Kristy was in the front seat saying, "Oh, why didn't I bring my Bible?  I could read some scripture to you."  I sat there for well over fifteen minutes, just crying.  I know they were beginning to wonder if we would be sitting there all day long.  I was still clinging to one lonely tissue that had been used up ten minutes earlier. Sue was desperately whispering to them, "She needs tissue."  They are scurrying around in the car trying to find something.  Finally, Sue offered me her scarf!  I start laughing a little.  About that time, Kristy turned around.  She was holding two tampons and she said, "Here stuff one of these up each nostril."  I went from crying hysterically to laughing hysterically.  Isn't it amazing how you can move from one emotion to the other?

The tears were not finished for the weekend.  More came at several other times, but for that moment they passed.  We went inside LuLu's and enjoyed a meal.  For a little while, I was okay.

Last night, we relived that weekend.  This time, however, there were no tears, only laughter.  Time really is an amazing healer, isn't it?  We have made a decision.  This year we are going to have a do-over.  We are going to plan a trip to Gulf Shores, but this one will be different.  I am now a healthier weight, but even more important, I am now a healthier soul.

We never know what life holds for us, do we?  But there is one thing I know.  It surely is a whole lot easier to travel the road with good friends by your side.

Romans 12:15 (New Living Translation)

Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.

I am so thankful for my friends who can not only be happy with me, but are willing to weep with me as well.  2010 was a year of much weeping with friends.  I am looking forward to 2011 and much laughter together!