Facebook Etiquette for Old People

I overheard a comment the other day by a young college student. "These old people on Facebook are getting out of hand.  My widowed grandmother just updated her status to "in a relationship."  If that wasn't enough, her seventy-five year old best friend commented, "You go, girl!"  Now that just ain't right!"

Yes, it does appear that Facebook has been taken over by the "olds."  That is the nickname that my girls and many of their friends give us.  Who are the "olds"?  Well, it depends.  Basically, they are people on Facebook over the age of thirty.  Now there are a few exceptions.  My girls don't consider my friend Blair, who is thirty-three, an "old" because she is cute and stylish and fun.  They don't consider my friend Bobbie an "old" even though she is fifty-two.  You see, Mrs. Bobbie carries a concealed weapon, and she is not afraid to use it!  That makes her cool in my girls' eyes.

Now there are certain things that we "olds" do that irritate the younger generation to no end.  We don't have simple status updates like they do.  We post quotes and inspirational thoughts.  And if that isn't enough, we feel compelled to let everyone know about all the latest accomplishments of our children, what we had for breakfast, lunch and dinner yesterday, how we feel about our significant other at the time, how our day is going, and all that is just our morning status.  I read a status last week that said:  "Who needs memoirs these days when we have Facebook!" 

Well, all of us "olds" need to remember that the young ones owned Facebook first.  Originally, one had to have a college e-mail just to get an account.  So, if we are going to invade their turf, we need to abide by certain Facebook etiquette rules. 

1.  Let them request you as a friend.  If they do, consider yourself blessed.  You know they really want you around.
2.  If you do feel compelled to request them, don't get your feelings hurt if they don't accept your request. They are not being mean; they just don't necessarily want the whole world knowing that you changed their diaper when they were little.
3.   If they do accept you, chances are, they just did it out of politeness, or they had a mother like me saying, "You better accept that nice lady.  She changed your diaper when you were little."  Once they accept you, they will probably hide you so that you don't show up on their newsfeed.  That would not be cool.
4.  Speak when spoken to.  Okay, here is the deal.  If a group of teenagers are standing around talking, we wouldn't just go up and jump right into the middle of their conversation.  So we must refrain from commenting on their status, unless we are able to come up with something incredibly witty that makes them look good.  Let's face it.  Most of us "olds" just don't have the wit to pull that off., which leads into number five.
5.  Understand your "cool" factor.  Now most of my students think I am pretty cool most of the time.  They are okay with my commenting on their statuses.  Sometimes they will even post pictures of us together on their Facebook.  However, if my "cool factor" with my students is about a six, then it would be a negative five with my daughters.  I get that.  I am not cool to them at all; therefore, it must be a matter of life or death for me to comment on their status.  Chances are, within forty-five seconds of my commenting, they will delete it.
6.  Finally, go easy with the acronyms.  They don't like to see "LOL" overused.  However, they are just fine using acronyms with expletives!  I actually have my own Facebook etiquette for my students.  If you post on my page, you better keep it clean!

These are just a few violations that I have come to understand.  I will admit that I am guilty.  I have committed such heinous acts at least once or twice in my Facebook endeavors.  Thankfully, I have two amazing, sensitive and understanding girls that are quick to put me in my place.  Truthfully, they don't think they are being mean, they are just sparing me from embarrassing myself by appearing to be an obnoxious "old."

In all sincerity, I do enjoy Facebook.  It has been a wonderful way to connect with others in my life.  I have reconnected with friends from the past, and they have been such a source of encouragement to me over the past year.  In addition, I do enjoy the fact that it is a way for me to express my faith to the 700+ friends on my account.  Many of those friends are of the younger generation.  I have always had such a passion in my life for youth.  One of my greatest joys in life has been watching preteens grow into amazing young men and women of the faith.   If I can use Facebook as a method of sharing my faith with them, then it is a good thing.  So I will abide by their silly rules and play the game their way (with the exception of those foul-lettered acronyms.)  If it allows me a small corner in their world where I can be an example of the faith, it is worth it.

1 Corinthians 9:19-23 (The Message)

Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized—whoever. I didn't take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ—but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I've become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did all this because of the Message. I didn't just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it!